I just got off the phone with my dad. We were discussing plans for April, and all the details of the race. The more we talked about it the more excited I got! Let’s be honest, I am not the fittest person, and I am not going to place well, but that is not something I really care about. I care about finishing the race, and finishing well. I want to finish knowing that I have trained as hard as I could, do as much as I could do; having no doubt in my mind there was anything that I could have done better. I want to finish knowing that I have pushed through the hard times being unwilling to let up or give up! I want to finish knowing that when all is said and done I have used my time wisely. I have used that time to think, pray, and worship the God who has given me the ability and strength to even be running this race. I know there will be times when I won’t feel like getting up. I know there will be times when I am so tired and so sore that it may seem completely impossible for me to even get out of bed and run another mile. It will be then that I am reminded, “I WILL run the race set before me…” I want to know that when all is said and done and I have run the race, that God’s GLORY was shone, that I relied on HIS strength and gave him the glory he deserves. I cannot do this on my own. There are so many lessons to be learned through seeking him during this time. I am so excited about how the Lord is going to change my life through this event.
I will run the race that is set before me, looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith…
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
It is Better Farther On - The Carter Family
Just thought I would also post the lyrics to the song by which the foundation of this blog is founded...
It Is Better Farther On
As we travel through the desert
As we travel through the desert
Storms beset us by the way
But beyond the river Jordan
Lies a field of endless day
Farther on, still go farther
Count the milestones one by one
Jesus will forsake you never
It is better farther on
Oh, my brother, are you weary
Of the roughness of the way?
Does your strength begin to fail you
And your vigor to decay?
Farther on, still go farther
Count the mile stones one by one
Jesus will forsake you never
It is better farther on
At my grave, oh still be singing
Though you weep for one that's gone
Sing it as we once did sing it
It is better farther on
Farther on, still go farther
Farther on, still go farther
Count the milestones one by one
Jesus will forsake you never
It is better farther on
Obstacles
No running for me this morning! It was cooooolllld! Burrrr! What do I do when it gets colder? Or when there is snow and ice on the ground? Obstacles of training. I need to find an elliptical or treadmill. Indoor training!! Whatever the obstacle I must carry on! This is week number 1 of hard core training! I have to be running a consistent mile and half to two miles every day until sat. Sat I will run 3 miles, and repeat the whole thing next week. Week 3, I will increase to four miles!! I have to overcome the small obstacles!
Obstacle 2: How to I avoid without avoiding? I do mean avoiding people and situations, not necessarily to run from them, but to deal with them and avoid getting hurt. I know it sounds odd, but it really does make sense. If you take a boiling pot and stick your finger in it, it will burn you! So if you know it will burn you, why stick your finger in it in the first place? You are avoiding HURT by staying away! It is beneficial! So, with people, if you know you are going to get hurt if you get in the pot, why put yourself in the situation at all? If I attend this particular event, I will be jumping right in that pot, and not only will I sit there and "stew" about what's going on, but I will "burn" later when I sit and think about how much it hurts to be around certain people. It really isn't so much that I am angry,I am, but mostly, I am determined to get rid of these dumb feelings I never wanted or asked for in the first place that have caused me nothing but trouble. The obstacle, wanting to be with other people I love and care about, without excluding someone else or feeling excluded. Is is possible to be in the same room as him without wanting to bawl my eyes out? Is is possible to go have a great time with out it feeling awkward for me and others? I guess time will tell.
Obstacles are hard, how we handle those obstacles determine the strength we actually gain from them, and will prove whether or not we took the short cut or easy way out.
Obstacle 2: How to I avoid without avoiding? I do mean avoiding people and situations, not necessarily to run from them, but to deal with them and avoid getting hurt. I know it sounds odd, but it really does make sense. If you take a boiling pot and stick your finger in it, it will burn you! So if you know it will burn you, why stick your finger in it in the first place? You are avoiding HURT by staying away! It is beneficial! So, with people, if you know you are going to get hurt if you get in the pot, why put yourself in the situation at all? If I attend this particular event, I will be jumping right in that pot, and not only will I sit there and "stew" about what's going on, but I will "burn" later when I sit and think about how much it hurts to be around certain people. It really isn't so much that I am angry,I am, but mostly, I am determined to get rid of these dumb feelings I never wanted or asked for in the first place that have caused me nothing but trouble. The obstacle, wanting to be with other people I love and care about, without excluding someone else or feeling excluded. Is is possible to be in the same room as him without wanting to bawl my eyes out? Is is possible to go have a great time with out it feeling awkward for me and others? I guess time will tell.
Obstacles are hard, how we handle those obstacles determine the strength we actually gain from them, and will prove whether or not we took the short cut or easy way out.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
December 26, 2009
It amazes me how much I allow people to influence me. I allow certain people to influence me more than others; therefore I care more what they think about the situations and circumstances of my life. There is a particular person however, that I have allowed a great deal more influence than I should have. This person has challenged my thinking, and my heart, but has also hurt me, really horribly actually, and I am learning how to deal with that.
The past few weeks have started what I like to call the most difficult trail of my adult years to date. Something else later in life may surpass this, but for right now it takes the gold. I am struggling to find peace in the fact that we are to be real with one another, yet hold back enough as to not reveal too much of ourselves to the wrong people. I have felt lately like I revealed way too much of myself. I have once again turned inward, and I don’t feel the need to go too far in-depth, or expose myself entirely. I have been known for not holding back, but sharing my heart without shame for the sake of “being real” with others.
Let’s just cut to the chase, and nix all the fluff. I got my heart broken! Again! You would think after so many times I would learn not to give it away, but I for reasons only the Lord knows, still don’t get it! Only give your heart to those who are giving you theirs at the same time!!! Yes, to answer your question, I fell in love all by myself! Again…and until a few weeks ago, I would have said I couldn’t have fallen for someone more perfect. Turns out, this guy is NOT so perfect after all. I think I knew this before, I just refused to see it, or if I did see it, I refused to admit it. RESULT: Utter despair, insomnia, lack of appetite, and a possible ulcer. This is just a few of the reasons this is turning out to be the most difficult season of my adult life.
I ran today for the first time in two weeks, and I am pretty sure I need to pull it together if I am serious about running this half-marathon, or, finishing it at least. It was a hard run today. I couldn’t pace myself very well, my music was all crazy. I just couldn’t find my grove I guess. I just knew I needed to run. I have to be running three miles next week, and the week after. I increase to four miles in two weeks! April 24 will be here before I know it! I have no more down time! I have to get straight to business on this one!!!
The two races ahead of me are so difficult, and while I feel like I made progress in one today, the other feels like it is getting worse. I do think that they each go hand in hand, and the Lord is using both of them simultaneously in my life. The more upset I get, the more I want to run. The more I run, the more prepared I get for this race, and in the process, I am being shaped and molded because the Lord is teaching me through life’s storms, but also my body is physically being better shaped to a more fit lifestyle. At the end of this whole thing, I will come back to these early blogs, starting out, and I will say to myself, wow, how the Lord has worked and overcome things in my life!
It amazes me how much I allow people to influence me. I allow certain people to influence me more than others; therefore I care more what they think about the situations and circumstances of my life. There is a particular person however, that I have allowed a great deal more influence than I should have. This person has challenged my thinking, and my heart, but has also hurt me, really horribly actually, and I am learning how to deal with that.
The past few weeks have started what I like to call the most difficult trail of my adult years to date. Something else later in life may surpass this, but for right now it takes the gold. I am struggling to find peace in the fact that we are to be real with one another, yet hold back enough as to not reveal too much of ourselves to the wrong people. I have felt lately like I revealed way too much of myself. I have once again turned inward, and I don’t feel the need to go too far in-depth, or expose myself entirely. I have been known for not holding back, but sharing my heart without shame for the sake of “being real” with others.
Let’s just cut to the chase, and nix all the fluff. I got my heart broken! Again! You would think after so many times I would learn not to give it away, but I for reasons only the Lord knows, still don’t get it! Only give your heart to those who are giving you theirs at the same time!!! Yes, to answer your question, I fell in love all by myself! Again…and until a few weeks ago, I would have said I couldn’t have fallen for someone more perfect. Turns out, this guy is NOT so perfect after all. I think I knew this before, I just refused to see it, or if I did see it, I refused to admit it. RESULT: Utter despair, insomnia, lack of appetite, and a possible ulcer. This is just a few of the reasons this is turning out to be the most difficult season of my adult life.
I ran today for the first time in two weeks, and I am pretty sure I need to pull it together if I am serious about running this half-marathon, or, finishing it at least. It was a hard run today. I couldn’t pace myself very well, my music was all crazy. I just couldn’t find my grove I guess. I just knew I needed to run. I have to be running three miles next week, and the week after. I increase to four miles in two weeks! April 24 will be here before I know it! I have no more down time! I have to get straight to business on this one!!!
The two races ahead of me are so difficult, and while I feel like I made progress in one today, the other feels like it is getting worse. I do think that they each go hand in hand, and the Lord is using both of them simultaneously in my life. The more upset I get, the more I want to run. The more I run, the more prepared I get for this race, and in the process, I am being shaped and molded because the Lord is teaching me through life’s storms, but also my body is physically being better shaped to a more fit lifestyle. At the end of this whole thing, I will come back to these early blogs, starting out, and I will say to myself, wow, how the Lord has worked and overcome things in my life!
Running the Race
December 24, 2009
“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,
who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross,
despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1-2
Dear readers,
I watched a movie last week that inspired this blog. Like the girl in the movie, I never finish anything, and also like her, decided it was time to do something about it. I am going through a season of my life where I feel the only thing I am successful at is existing, and I don’t even feel I am doing that well. I will be writing about the race that is before me spiritually, but also the Half Marathon I am training for that will take place in April. These two parallel quite a bit in my life at the moment as I seek to trust the Lord as he teaches me discipline, courage, strength and faith.
Running is a new thing for me. I have only been running a little less than a year. It will be a year in February to be exact. I have always struggled with my weight, and decided running would be a good source of exercise, but also a way to channel the stresses of life. It’s one of the ways I can have time to myself, but also have time with the Lord, to think, pray, express worry; worship. Like all beginner runners I had a starting place. I couldn’t run more than a mile, if that much, but after months of training, I ran my first 5K race in Cincinnati, OH on August 22, 2009. I ran an entire 3 miles, which is something I have never done before. My roommates were there to watch, and encourage as I ran across the finish line.
This season of my life is proving to be one of the most difficult of my adult life. I am far away from my family. I have just been through a hard relationship change, getting my heartbroken yet again, but knowing that somehow, someway, the Lord will once again, pick me up, hold me in his arms, catch every tear, and mend my heart. I believe getting through this season will be like training for my first real race. It will take a lot of discipline, courage, strength, and faith which can only be found in trusting the Lord. I cannot rely on my own strength, it will fail. I must rely upon the Lord. I have no other choice! Who knows better than Him what my future holds? Who knows better than him where my heart truly lies? Three miles was a huge task, thirteen is greater. Facing this season in my life is also a huge task; however, both MUST be done trusting the Lord.
I will run the race that is set before me, both spiritually and physically, trusting in Lord, looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. I will do it trusting in Him who endured the cross for my sake, taking on the wrath of God in order for me to be reconciled to God. He is a great God! I deserve nothing I have been given, yet it has been given. Pray for me as I pray, trust, and seek the Lord in this race set before me. Pray with every mile my heart grows closer and closer to Him who created me, and loves me unconditionally.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)